guest    Login  Signup

search 

home news about media forums community download
Forums . Chat . Been doing some writing.

Chat

General Community Chat

Currently: 357 Topics, 5855 Posts

Been doing some writing.

KnowingNothing

Jen: 38
Saturday, July 27, 2013 4:45pm
Fang
Writing Team
Jen: 68
...

It always warms my heart to see people writing.

Thank you, KnowingNothing. You just made my day.
Saturday, July 27, 2013 7:10pm
I'm not particularly great at anything, but I'm definitely adequate at everything.
I like that. I can do anything I want.
Liska

Jen: 44
I must say, I enjoyed your story KnowingNothing. As a writer myself, I have been quite intrigued by your tale already. Would love to read it if/when more comes out and/or is finished in book form.

Advice? Well, I see many typos and grammatical errors. Might want to clean up the text a bit to make it easier to read.

Also, if this is just the prologue or first chapter of what you've been working on, might I suggest giving it a title? You could leave it as "Prologue" or "Chapter 1" until you feel there is enough written to warrant a more detailed name or you could just give it a proper title from the get go. Same with the rest of your story that you have not shared with us.

Loved the attention to details too. That's one area where I often fall short on. Descriptions have always been a bit difficult for me. Anyway, thanks for sharing this with everyone. Was a good read.
Saturday, July 27, 2013 8:08pm
Alpha Characters - Argentii da' Ariiel and Tiiani da' Tasiiama
Radiotype
Jen: 38
This is amazing, in every definition of the word, and in every synonym. It's great, awesome, exceptional, astounding, confounding, fascinating, unbelievable, incredible, marvelous; and before I go on, yes I would read the rest of the book, I'd even buy it over market price. :3

There are a couple a grammatical mistakes, such as: "weren't" should be "wasn't", and "are" should be "is". So mostly things that go with the singular/plural. But other than that, seems fine, especially going into such deep detail in the beginning.

Two things you want you to watch out for when you're writing the rest of this
-1. Be careful on your attention to detail as you progress through the story. In the beginning, you really gave a image in my mind about the plains, and the forest bordering the plains, and the wrathful weather. But the details gradually became less and less significant. For example: the description of the village layout, as I imagined how the village looked like, I gave a basic circular orientation, with the chief's hut int eh middle, on top of a hill. Then you added in the bell, in which I moved the chief's hut to the perimeter of the village on a hill, and the bell in the middle. Then you described it being made so that everyone in the village could here it, so the entire village layout went everywhere after that when everyone started packing.

-2. Character first impressions: this one is important, so take heed. Try to make the individual characters that have been named thus far, significant to the reader. Every character has a different relationship with each other, but what impact would happen if you decided to kill one off, without exploring their personality, interest, hobbies, etc., if you don't establish a connection before hand. I've seen this done once in a game, and though it was VERY insignificant to the plot of story, still made a BIG difference to my entire gaming experience throughout the game.

One more thing, it's actually pretty convenient that you created a thread to post your story, as I was going to make a thread, specifically for people in this community who are writers, to show and display their stories that they wish to share, starting with mine to set an example. I just haven't done it now because I'm half afraid that the pages and pages of stories would destroy the site. But do expect that there will be that thread coming soon.

Keep writing. :3
Sunday, July 28, 2013 12:35am
There is no death, only life unending in a different form. -M.H.
Liska

Jen: 44
Radiotype, I share your hesitation to post your story. I hesitate to post mine as well. It's size alone would probably crash the site or break the forums so as to be unusable. (we're literally talking 700+ pages here...)

Besides, although posting people's stories is a great thing, we have to keep in mind this is a game site not a story forum site. Previews might be fine so long as they follow the rules of the forums, but, we must keep it to a minimum.

As for any stories made in the world of Forra, it would probably be better to add those to the Roleplay forum.
Sunday, July 28, 2013 1:01am
Alpha Characters - Argentii da' Ariiel and Tiiani da' Tasiiama
Spyred

Jen: 76
The only thing I would mention is that the story felt a bit fast paced for my liking but it was still a good read.

Other then that, it was a very engaging story, I would love to see what happens next. ^_^

Quote by Liska:
Besides, although posting people's stories is a great thing, we have to keep in mind this is a game site not a story forum site. Previews might be fine so long as they follow the rule of the forums...but, we must keep it to a minimum.

Aww, that's too bad really. :/ I have a story I'm writing on and off but I'm not sure if it would be a good idea to share it. Well, at least not yet. Still needs work. :/
Sunday, July 28, 2013 1:20am
Liska

Jen: 44
Quote by Liska:
Besides, although posting people's stories is a great thing, we have to keep in mind this is a game site not a story forum site. Previews might be fine so long as they follow the rules of the forums...but, we must keep it to a minimum.

Quote by Spyred:
Aww, that's too bad really. :/ I have a story I'm writing on and off but I'm not sure if it would be a good idea to share it. Well, at least not yet. Still needs work. :/

Don't misunderstand Spyred, I'm not saying NOT to post your stories. I'm saying we have to watch how MUCH is posted. As much as KN's story was very enjoyable, if a bit fast paced, the last thing we want is a bunch of stories unrelated to Antilia cropping up in walls of text half a mile long (yeah, I exaggerate here, but, hopefully you get the idea).

Again, any stories related to the world of Forra itself such as fanfics, roleplays and such would best be posted in the Roleplay forum.

I am not trying to discourage anyone's creativity, just giving a reminder that there are better places to post one's own creations.
Sunday, July 28, 2013 1:40am
Alpha Characters - Argentii da' Ariiel and Tiiani da' Tasiiama
KnowingNothing

Jen: 38
Quote by Liska:
Advice? Well, I see many typos and grammatical errors. Might want to clean up the text a bit to make it easier to read.

Well.. I am only 20 and from sweden, my english isnt perfect yet, but ill try to keep that i mind. Also, the spacing between the text is something i never get right, not sure were to make it into a new row.

Quote by Liska:
Also, if this is just the prologue or first chapter of what you've been working on, might I suggest giving it a title?

I am not sure if this should be the first chapter or not, as i said, this is just the first 5 pages of the 23 that i have writen. ((One page being a full A-4 paper)) It being the prologue is out of question as it is to much for a prologue.((atleast i think so))

Quote by Radiotype:
Be careful on your attention to detail as you progress through the story. In the beginning, you really gave a image in my mind about the plains, and the forest bordering the plains, and the wrathful weather. But the details gradually became less and less significant.

This is just the base of the writing, i have yet to go back and look over everything i have writen to adjust and improve.

Quote by Radiotype:
Character first impressions: this one is important, so take heed. Try to make the individual characters that have been named thus far, significant to the reader. Every character has a different relationship with each other, but what impact would happen if you decided to kill one off, without exploring their personality, interest, hobbies, etc., if you don't establish a connection before hand.

Well..the title of the book is "A Beastly War" so someone is bound to die sooner or later. But you are right about the first impressions, but that is also where i dont know how to make.
I dont want to make them to detailed at first, keeping small things as hobbies or background to later in the book so things falls together as you read, yet as you say, if i dont give enough the reader wont connect with the characters and it could make the reader bored.


But anyway..Thanks guys for the criticism, will try to keep what you all have said in mind as i write.

And thanks for the support, nice to know that there are people willing to read a whole book just because of 5 pages :D But dont expect it to come out soon, it will take a year or two before i might be done.
Sunday, July 28, 2013 2:52am
Arcoas
Jen: 11
All I have to say is I enjoyed these first five pages of your story and I would like to read the rest. You've made me curious about things such as what this tribe is like and what the power they've mentioned is. I hope I get to read more and find out.
Sunday, November 10, 2013 8:52pm
KnowingNothing

Jen: 38
Quote by Arcoas:
All I have to say is I enjoyed these first five pages of your story and I would like to read the rest. You've made me curious about things such as what this tribe is like and what the power they've mentioned is. I hope I get to read more and find out.


NOpe, wont post any more of the book. :P
Monday, November 11, 2013 5:49am
Page: 1

You are not currently logged in. You must first log in to post a reply.
Frequently Asked Questions Development Team

Antilia - Copyright © 2017 right brain games